It’s amazing what the brain is capable of doing. Just last night, I had a dream that I was wearing a wedding dress that had a menagerie of bubble gum-pink balloons attached to the train. It was at the mall.
I’ve never put a wedding dress on before, though I’m sure the feeling is amazing. I didn’t feel anything when I was wearing it in the dream, though I did feel self-conscious. At one point in the dream, I was walking down the aisle of the mall and there were people on all sides of me, telling me how awesome it was that I was wearing a gown in public.
My friend had a rude awakening this morning to a floor covered in laundry detergent; a whole bottle. She’s decided that, instead of cleaning it up she’ll throw a foam party. If I ever do get married, I want the reception to be a giant foam party where everyone has to wear skates.
But I wouldn’t wear a dress, my shoulders are too wide.
If I ever did wear a dress, it wouldn’t just have balloons in the back, it would be made of them. Each would be filled with confetti, so that when one pops it doesn’t seem like such a loss.
My dream ended with me eating a slice of pizza, then a librarian accidentally popped one of the balloons on my dress. I wasn’t sad.
I was too busy enjoying my pizza.