I always did want to be a cowboy when I grow up. Let’s talk about why this is the perfect cowboy outfit:
- A vest with no shirt allows free movement and eliminates the dreaded farmers tan.
- Little pockets in the vest hold toothpicks, a pocketknife, or a tube of lip gloss. Plus, added fringe hypnotize the cattle into following you.
- Wearing a leather thong instead of pants allows ventilation. Note the shiny buckle, which can be used to shine light into the eyes of predators like snakes, coyotes, and Michelle Bachmann.
- For those hot Midwest summers, chaps shorts are the way to go. And these are in a bold print and bright color so someone can find your body easier in case you die from heat-stroke.
- Cowboy boots are over! Trade them out for some cow-print Creepers to really show those cows who’s boss!
This entry was posted in Uncategorized
and tagged cowboy
, jeremy scott
, super gay
. Bookmark the permalink