Last Train Out

This morning,
I looked into the mirror
and saw the face of a man
who looked like he missed the last train out.

For breakfast,
I stared at the toaster
as it burnt the bread to a crisp,
and poured milk down into my burning chest.

Today,
my heart screamed so loud
my ribcage rattled
like a coffee mug on the bars of a jail cell,
because without you in my day
my heart feels like a prisoner.
It keeps on beating but
it doesn’t know why.
It pushes blood into my veins hoping
it won’t come back.

Tonight
couldn’t come any sooner.
At least in the night
the holes you left in my framework
blend in with the surroundings.
At least during the night
I don’t have to act like
I care about anything but
remembering the sound of breath in your sleep.
On those cold nights you used to sleep so soundly
in the apartment we lived in
with the heating bill I used to pay.

I told you I would always take care of you.

But one day,
I couldn’t take care of you enough.
I couldn’t be enough for you to last any longer than you needed to.
More than just a fuck to remind you
of all the holes you’ll never want to fill.
You’d kiss me to taste my apologies,
and spit them back at me like razor blades.

That day,
felt like the worst day of my life.
Today, I have to find a way
to run on empty.

About Ry

It's so magical, it's gay.
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