River: Revised

Do you remember the night
we felt so high you said you wanted to touch the moon?
Remember how you tried,
but couldn’t?
That was the night you asked me
to be the man of your dreams.
But you see, my head doesn’t get in the clouds like yours.
I still tried to be your man anyways.

There was a time I once called myself a man.
I thought I had it all together,
thought I had all my pieces in tact
ready for you to put me together.
I don’t think you were ready for my half-built puzzle
when you came around with your glass half full.
Would you have called me a friend?
If I hadn’t come to you with my Pandora’s box
shaped like a polka-dot heart,
spotted with holes;
would you stay with me for a moment?

I know I left you with heartache
and burning in your chest,
but I will black and blue my faultlines
to help mend what we once were.

Once, I called myself your lover
during nights that ended with us in knots,
when you’d look into my eyes to try and see the moon
hoping for some bright beam to sleep under.
But there were only light-years behind the lens.
There were only distances that stretched too far for your arms to reach.
You could have been a hitchhiker
thumbing your way down the Nile to try
and find your way to something fertile inside my chest.

You called me a river.
I gave you an ocean preparing for a storm.
You could be the breeze but I
had to be your hurricane.
I didn’t know my body was looking for a windstorm,
a swinging lantern in the rain,
a last hope during the storm
before the roof is ripped from its beams.
You were my support, but
I wouldn’t listen to all the rights you breathed into my wrongs.
What was wrong with me?
What was wrong with me
that I drowned myself in a pathetic puddle
and pushed you into the tide.
Would you ever forgive me?

Can I ever call you my friend?
Can I be your home?
Can I be a landing strip, a bullseye,
the loose step on a staircase
that trips you head over feet?
I know my heart is a little to the left
but now I want to make it right.
These words are my promise to your safety net
that my lips won’t utter your name again
without thinking through sunshine.
Let all my poems be your bodyguard.
Let my trust guide you when you can’t see ahead.
Let me map you to the edge of my darkness
so that we can dance toward a brighter ending.
I hope these words will help us move on,
and you can find something in me you like again.
I hope that we can have a happy ending.

About Ry

It's so magical, it's gay.
This entry was posted in The Tricks. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to River: Revised

  1. Tarah says:

    love this. “I know my heart is a little to the left/but now I want to make it right.” — so good.

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